


double bubble/disco queen

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Eventual Romance, Gen, Humor, chatfic, honey nut feelios, no beta we die like men, you got angst in my chatfic, you got chatfic in my angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23250520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Fukawa Touko gets a love letter, Genocide Jack wingmans for both herself and her secret admirer, and everything is descending into shit.(Or: A story about people accepting love, people accepting themselves, and people getting dunked on in groupchats.)
Relationships: Fujisaki Chihiro & Oowada Mondo, Genocider Syo | Genocide Jack & Naegi Makoto
Comments: 15
Kudos: 31





	1. who told these children they were cool

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** entered the chat " **the cool ones (and leon)**!!!"

**11ohthreeseven** : eyyyyy what up

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : just got up whats up asswipes

**crazydiamond** : yaknow just the usual shit

**desBEAR** : ye its BORING

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what sort a shit cornhair i gotta know the DEETS

**crazydiamond** : uhhhhhhhhhhhh just fuckin romance yknow

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : oh yeah hows your crush on stickinhisass goin

**crazydiamond** : fuck off

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

**donutmaniac** : was that much laughter necessary

**desBEAR** : yes

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yes

**crazydiamond** : yeah well how about you and rich btich huh

**11ohthreeseven** : btich

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : btich

**desBEAR** : btich

**donutmaniac** : btich

**crazydiamond** : yall can F UCK O FF

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but yeah u know this girls gonna get that booty bitches

**11ohthreeseven** : uh.

**11ohthreeseven** : cool.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : wow really feelin the love guys

**donutmaniac** : we just kinda worry yknow

**desBEAR** : speak for yourself bitch

**donutmaniac** : hes just kinda

**11ohthreeseven** : hes an ass

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : its a juicy one tho heyo

**crazydiamond** : yeah but your whole thing is just really fuckin one sided

**crazydiamond** : love should be a mutual thing

**desBEAR** : barf why are u in this chat sappy

**crazydiamond** : i'm TRYING to give some good fuckin ass ADVICE enoshimass.

**11ohthreeseven** : oh shit

**donutmaniac** : fucking destroyed

**desBEAR** : hhhhhhhhhhhd espaitr

**crazydiamond** : butyeah love someone who loves you chick

**cuttycuttyscissoritch** : ha like who

**11ohthreeseven** : man good fucking question actually

**donutmaniac** : Kuwata.

**11ohthreeseven** : FUCK sorry but just.

**11ohthreeseven** : even if you find someone who likes you

**11ohthreeseven** : they also have to like fukawa right?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ugh dont remind me

**donutmaniac** : "ugh" is the perfect word to describe her honestly,

**crazydiamond** : kind of

**donutmaniac** : i mean yeah i think she needs a friend

**donutmaniac** : but shes just such an asshole to everyone!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : im an asshole to everyone though

**donutmaniac** : yeah but you are actually friendly and nice when you wanna be

**donutmaniac** : she just kinda assumes the worst of everyone

**donutmaniac** : shes just so

**desBEAR** : ugh

**crazydiamond** : ugh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well as much as I appreciate the touko trashing sesh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : still doesnt answer my damn question

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : who the fuck is supposed to like me with my whole sitch

**11ohthreeseven** : uhhhhhh

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I could tell you

**11ohthreeseven** : JESUS i forgot you were in this chat

**donutmaniac** : the cryptid awakens!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : oh rly

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : who

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I said I could

**11ohthreeseven** : ???

**desBEAR** : goddamnit ur just gonna say u know but not actually fuckin TELL US

**DetectiveKirigiri** : ;)

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : bitch why

**11ohthreeseven** : correction: btich why

**crazydiamond** : FUCK OFF

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yes thank you: btich why

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I promised not to tell

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Simple as that.

**desBEAR** : w/ever ill just figure it out tomorrow at school

**DetectiveKirigiri** : That may be easier than you think

**11ohthreeseven** : im so confused

**donutmaniac** : what's new

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : actually me too what

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I've been tasked with leaving a confession to you on your desk

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : !!!!!!

**11ohthreeseven** : WHOA WHAT!?

**crazydiamond** : holy fuck

**donutmaniac** : are you kidding!???!?

**desBEAR** : well fuck me then

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : wait

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : DMANIT DAMNIT DAMNIT FUCK!

**DetectiveKirigiri** : ?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : too bad for me i wont even be ABLE TO FUCKIN READ IT!

**donutmaniac** : why?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : drab and dreary's got dibs on tomorrow.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : The whole day?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yyyyyyyyyup

**desBEAR** : rip

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : shes gonna just fuckin think that someones fucking with her.

**donutmaniac** : why!?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : school wasnt exactly fucking nice to gloomy

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : fake confessions, mockery, trashed lockers, death threats

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : the works

**crazydiamond** : damn im sorry

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : dont apologize to me i didnt go through it

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but the shared feelings gave a direction to point my scissors i guess

**11ohthreeseven** : when did this chat become a support group

**desBEAR** : ikr

**11ohthreeseven** : i mean im touched

**DetectiveKirigiri** : We're trusted I suppose.

**crazydiamond** : also its like 2 in the morning and none of us will fucking remember this

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but yeah back to my fucking point

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : she's gonna take the confession badly.

**desBEAR** : shit when u rite u rite

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so fuck me i guess

**crazydiamond** : damn, shot down before whoever the fuck even got a chance

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I wouldn't give up so fast, Genocider

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : please genocider is my work name, call me jack

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I don't intend to let the confession be discarded without her having read it at least.

**desBEAR** : ur hope is disgusting

**desBEAR** : almost as bad as your little sidekick

**desBEAR** : barf

**donutmaniac** : hey this could be good shoosh!

**crazydiamond** : fuckin preach it sis

**11ohthtreeseven** : tomorrow's going to be interesting

**SuperEgo** has entered the chat

**SuperEgo** : I have a message prepared from Chihiro Fujisaki in the case that you are all awake at this hour!

**SuperEgo** : "Go to bed we have school tomorrow."

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : why the fuck are you in this chat

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i mean i know fujisakis here but why is his robot here too

**crazydiamond** : i invited chihiro and alter ego comes as a part of the package.

**SuperEgo** : I have come to enforce his message! If you are not logged off in two minutes, you will be perma banned from this chat.

**11ohthreeseven** : haha please.

**crazydiamond** has left the chat

**DetectiveKirigiri** has left the chat

**donutmaniac** has left the chat

**desBEAR** has left the chat

**11ohthreeseven** : wait what

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : why do you think fujisaki is in this chat. fujisaki inspires fear.

**SuperEgo** : 0u0

**11ohthreeseven** : kay im gonna go and forget the past five hours

**11ohthreeseven** : yEET

**11ohthreeseven** has left the chat.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hey can you uh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : not tell fujisaki about what happened in this chat?

**SuperEgo** : Alright, but I cannot promise that he won't scroll through the chat tomorrow morning.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : kthx

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** has left the chat

**SuperEgo** has left the chat


	2. leon fucking dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11ohthreeseven: IT WAS THEM OFFICER
> 
> 11ohthreeseven: THOSE TWO ARE THE ONES WHO KILLED ME
> 
> Id: i cant leave yall alone for one dang minute can i

**Fukawa Touko** entered the chat "Book Club"

**getlucky** : HELP

**Id** : You can't stop it Naegi-kun.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You can't stop it Naegi-kun.

**CelestiaL** : You can't stop it Naegi-kun.

**Fukawa Touko** : Jesus fucking christ I do not have the energy for this today.

**Id** : hi fukawa we were just letting naegi know about the next book to read

**getlucky** : Whyyy is it THAT ONE Tho D:

**Fukawa Touko** : What are we reading again?

**CelestiaL** : Fifty shades.

**Fukawa Touko** : mm

**getlucky** : PLEASE fukawa im begging you i dont have veto power on this one please

**Id** : just imagine that the main guy is togami and youll enjoy

**Fukawa Touko** : h

**getlucky** : noooooooo

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Don't worry, Naegi. That was a joke.

**CelestiaL** : It was?

**getlucky** : oh thank god

**Id** : celeste

**Id** : what do you mean

**Id** : "It was?"

**CelestiaL** : That's not important.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Isn't it.

**CelestiaL** : I think

**CelestiaL** : we should switch

**CelestiaL** : the subject

**getlucky** : please

**Fukawa Touko** : Well, I have a piece of fiction with me right now.

**getlucky** : oh?

**Fukawa Touko** : It was hand delivered to my desk and everything.

**getlucky** : oh

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Fukawa.

**Id** : is this the love letter?

**Fukawa Touko** : Have you read this trite?

**Fukawa Touko** : "I can't help but find myself infatuated with you."

**Fukawa Touko** : "When you speak to me, my heart stops."

**Fukawa Touko** : "With admiration, your secret admirer."

**Fukawa Touko** : Who would believe this garbage?

**getlucky** : well we dont know that it's fictional

**Fukawa Touko** : Have you met me?

**Fukawa Touko** : They must have written the wrong name on it.

**getlucky** : fukawa... :(

**Id** : don't say stuff like that.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Aren't we friends, Fukawa?

**Fukawa Touko** : Are we.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I'd like to think so.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Although, you are free to disagree

**Fukawa Touko** left the chat

**getlucky** : fukawa?

**Id** : gimmie a sec.

**CelestiaL** : Well then.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Hm.

**CelestiaL** : I have more vampire books?

**getlucky** : celeste.

**CelestiaL** : I don't know how to deal with emotions, Naegi.

**CelestiaL** : That is why I have vampire books.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : As well as vampire fanfiction.

**CelestiaL** : Shut

**Id** : I'm gonna leave chat for a minute hold on.

**Id** left the chat

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

**Id** entered the chat " **the cool ones (and leon)!** "

**crazydiamond** : BROOOOOOOOOOOO

**Id** : eyy what up

**11ohthreeseven** : whats good fujisaki

**Id** : seein if jack was in here

**donutmaniac** : uhhhhh nope!?

**donutmaniac** : why?

**Id** : fukawa just dipped out of the book club and i was wondering if it was cuz the j-man took over

**crazydiamond** : oh yeah you weren't here last night

**Id** : w

**Id** : what happened last night

**11ohthreeseven** : the chat became a support group

**11ohthreeseven** : we learned some sauce

**11ohthreeseven** : the usual

**donutmaniac** : sauce????

**Id** : sauce.

**crazydiamond** : leon what the fuck

**11ohthreeseven** : look just scroll up through the chat k?

**Id** : k

**donutmaniac** : SAUCE???????

**11ohthreeseven** : hina i dont judge ur speech dont judge mine

**desBEAR** entered the chat " **the cool ones (and leon)!** "

**desBEAR** : sauce

**desBEAR** left the chat

**11ohthreeseven** : ENOSHIMA WHAT THE CUCK!

**crazydiamond** : WHHHWHRHHRHHRE

**donutmaniac** : CUCK

**11ohthreeseven** : WAIT NONONO

**donutmaniac** : CUCK SAUCE

**crazydiamond** : WWWHEHHEHHHEHHIM WWHHHEEZING

**DetectiveKirigiri** has entered the chat "the cool ones (and leon)!"

**donutmaniac** : ckcskjafjkjhhj

**11ohthreeseven** : this is the worst day of my life

**DetectiveKirigiri** : What?

**11ohthreeseven** : kirigiri just fuckin chalk my body im already dead

**crazydiamond** : okay sauce cuck

**donutmaniac** : AHFGHJDg

**11ohthreeseven** : IT WAS THEM OFFICER

**11ohthreeseven** : THOSE TWO ARE THE ONES WHO KILLED ME

**Id** : i cant leave yall alone for one dang minute can i

**crazydiamond** : gasp

**crazydiamond** : "dang" !!!!!!

**crazydiamond** : chiro ur not allowed to say that word

**Id** : penis

**crazydiamond** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Id** : anyway that was a fuckin read

**Id** : kirigiri your really the one who put the letter there?

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You can check the cameras.

**donutmaniac** : wait can he?

**Id** : :3

**11ohthreeseven** : aw fuck he can.

**crazydiamond** : b-but ur babey!

**Id** : im no longer baby i want power

**crazydiamond** : AW FUCK

**Id** : so you know who wrote the letter?

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Yes.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : It took some hurdles to even get them to write the letter at all.

**donutmaniac** : wait

**donutmaniac** : how do we know YOU didn't write it!

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You don't.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : But do you really think I'd do it so simply?

**11ohthreeseven** : yes

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Well

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I suppose that's fair.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : But, I'll just say it right now.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I didn't write it.

**Id** : I guess thats leaves thirteen.

**11ohthreeseven** : wait

**11ohthreeseven** : i aint the best at math

**11ohthreeseven** : but i think u ruled out 1 extra.

**Id** : I left mondo out because hes hella gay.

**crazydiamond** : haha yeahh.

**donutmaniac** : you didn't exclude yourself?

**Id** : why would i?

**donutmaniac** : that's pretty incriminating fujisaki.

**Id** : fine i guess 12.

**crazydiamond** : HMmmmmMMMm

**crazydiamond** : think we need to good cop bad cop this

**crazydiamond** : leon ur bad cop im good cop

**11ohthreeseven** : aight

**crazydiamond** : whats good chiro

**Id** : you, bro

**crazydiamond** : bro...

**11ohthreeseven** : fujisaki.... was it.... YOU????

**Id** : nah

**11ohthreeseven** : welp i tried hes unbreakable.

**crazydiamond** : FUCK

**Id** : wait

**Id** : kirigiri

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Yes?

**Id** : did we leave naegi with celeste in the book club chat?

**DetectiveKirigiri** : ...Yes?

**Id** : Is he alright?

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Let me check.

**DetectiveKirigiri** left the chat

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

**DetectiveKirigiri** entered the chat " **Book Club** "

**CelestiaL** : Riebald clutched Luwark's hand in his own, breath heavy with lust. When he stared into Luwark's eyes, all he felt was the simmering, burning desire to sink his teeth into Luwark's neck and to sink his girth into Luwark's glorious glutes.

**getlucky** : kyouko help

**DetectiveKirigiri** left the chat.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

**DetectiveKirigiri** entered the chat " **the cool ones (and leon)!** "

**DetectiveKirigiri** : He's fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure where to go with this one, but I think it turned out alright in the end.  
> I read the comments and respond to them so feel free to put a message in!


	3. its buffboi season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getlucky: whats good  
> crazydiamond: BUFFBOIIIIIIIIIIS!  
> Id: BUFFBOIIIIIS!  
> donutmaniac: BUFFFBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

**Id** entered a chat with **crazydiamond**

**Id** : bro

**crazydiamond** : BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Id** : br-br-br-br-Bro.

**crazydiamond** : BROTATO

**Id** : Broseidon, Lord of the Brocean.

**crazydiamond** : BROMETHEUS!

**Id** : oooo brometheus i like that

**Id** : wait

**crazydiamond** : HA I WIN

**Id** : defeated by my own bro...

**crazydiamond** : dont worry bro the defeat only makes u stronger

**Id** : bro...

**Id** : anyway what did you want to talk about?

**crazydiamond** : oh yeah

**crazydiamond** : so forreal did u actually write the letter

**Id** : No?

**Id** : mondo when have i ever expressed interest in fukawa.

**crazydiamond** : jus checkin

**crazydiamond** : just so u know

**crazydiamond** : if u do have any crushes on anyone

**crazydiamond** : i have ur back 100%

**Id** : bro...

**crazydiamond** : bro.

**crazydiamond** : i gotta pay u back for helpin me with my crush after all.

**Id** : no payment necesarry

**Id** : anything for my best bro

**crazydiamond** : bro...

**Id** : bro.

**Id** : anyway Go To Bed.

**crazydiamond** : ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

**Id** : think of it this way

**Id** : im helpin u get used to the times u'll have to wake at when u start dating taka

**crazydiamond** : ,

**Id** : too much?

**crazydiamond** : l ilb it

**Id** : sorry

**crazydiamond** : its ok

**Id** : see u at buffbois meeting?

**crazydiamond** : yea

**Id** : k

**Id** : good night :)

**crazydiamond** : night

**crazydiamond** : :)

**crazydiamond** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------------------

**donutmaniac** entered the chat " **BUFFBOIS!!! >:D**"

**donutmaniac** : Buff BOIIIISSSS ASSEMBLE!

**Id** entered the chat " **BUFFBOIS!!! >:D**"

**Id** : Buffboiiiiiiiiiiss

**crazydiamond** entered the chat " **BUFFBOIS!!! >:D**"

**crazydiamond** : BUFFBOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS

**Gungnir** entered the chat " **BUFFBOIS!!! >:D**"

**Gungnir** : Bravo Uniform Foxtrot Foxtrot Bravo Oscar India Sierra.

**crazydiamond** : bit of a stretch

**donutmaniac** : shoosh its great

**NorthStar** entered the chat " **BUFFBOIS!!! >:D**"

**donutmaniac** : O.O

**NorthStar** : ...

**Northstar** : Buffbois :)

**crazydiamond** : BUFFBOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Id** : Buffboiiiiis!

**donutmaniac** : buffboiss!!!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** entered the chat " **BUFFBOIS!!! >:D**"

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Greetings, everyone!

**Id** : Taka.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Er, yes, Fujisaki?

**donutmaniac** : b-buffbois?

**crazydiamond** : sigh... buffbois is over bois...

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : If you want me to participate in this game, then you all should at least start spelling "boys" correctly!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Speaking of which, why hasn't the groupchat name been changed yet?

**Id** : i for one respect the prestige of buffbois.

**donutmaniac** : cmon taka, we even got sakura and ikusaba to do it.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Am I truly so outnumbered?

**NorthStar** : Sorry Taka, I had to do it for Hina.

**donutmaniac** : daww ur too sweet

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Also, why is it "buff boys" when you two clearly identify as women!?

**donutmaniac** : one must respect the sacred domain of buffbois, taka.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : This is silly. I respectfully decline.

**donutmaniac** : gasp!

**Id** : Gasp

**Id** : i dunno if taka should be in buffbois anymore...

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Wait, what!?

**Id** : what say you buffboi elder?

**crazydiamond** : hmmmmmmmmmm

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Kyoudai, you wouldn't truly cast me out for something this minor, would you!?

**crazydiamond** : while he might not join in the buffboi games

**crazydiamond** : he is more than embodying the buffboi spirit

**crazydiamond** : he has big muscles and a big heart

**crazydiamond** : the most important things for a buffboi to have

**crazydiamond** : he stays bois

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Kyoudai...

**Id** : as you say buffboi elder.

**crazydiamond** : HOWEVER

**crazydiamond** : for disrespecting the buffbois tradition of buffboi greetings he will have to spend time with me as funishment

**Id** : seems legit

**donutmaniac** : <_<

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Ah, I see!

**crazydiamond** : see what

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : That was a clever play on words! You combined "fun" and "punishment" as a way to show that I am being reprimanded, but that because anytime spent with Kyoudai is fun, I will have a good time nonetheless!

**crazydiamond** : i

**crazydiamond** : fuck

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Language!

**Id** : haha.

**NorthStar** : Anyways, I called in this meeting to say that I have someone who wants to join in on our weekly group excercise sessions.

**donutmaniac** : oh? who??

**NorthStar** : Can you allow me to add them, Fujisaki?

**Id** : yea sure

**Id** has given admin privileges to NorthStar

**NorthStar** has added **getlucky** to " **BUFFBOIS!!! >:D**"

**getlucky** : buffBOIS!

**getlucky** : whats good

**crazydiamond** : BUFFBOIIIIIIIIIIS!

**Id** : BUFFBOIIIIIS!

**donutmaniac** : BUFFFBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : It has started, again...

**Id** : so naegi...

**Id** : i see you also have decided to upgrade from twink to twunk.

**donutmaniac** : pffffttt

**getlucky** : yeah i guess!

**getlucky** : i just kind of wanted to get more inshape in general 

**getlucky** : and i heard about these weekend excercise meetings

**getlucky** : so i asked oogami if i could join in!

**NorthStar** : I figured all of you would be alright with him joining in.

**donutmaniac** : of course!

**donutmaniac** : youd have to be some kinda demon to dislike naegi

**getlucky** : dawww you're too nice

**crazydiamond** : i mean yall have HEARD my theory bout enoshima.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Enoshima isn't evil, Kyoudai.

**Gungnir** : She'd take that as an insult.

**getlucky** : oh i didn't know you were here, ikusaba!

**Gungnir** : Hello, Naegi.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Well, I suppose you'd know better than anyone, Ikusaba-san.

**Gungnir** : Oh, I don't know because I'm her sister.

**Gungnir** : I know because she's looking over my shoulder right now and made a disgusted noise when you said that.

**Ishimaru** **Kiyotaka** : Ah...

**Id** : thats enoshima for ya.

**getlucky** : so what time should i show up?

**NorthStar** : Usually about 9.

**donutmaniac** : wasnt it 7?

**NorthStar** : oowada is not an early riser.

**crazydiamond** : eheheheheh...

**crazydiamond** : im workin on it.

**NorthStar** : Naegi, you're of similar build to Fujisaki when he first started, so we'll use that regime as a starting point until we can really tell how to push you.

**getlucky** : fine by me!

**Id** : i just realised that i could probably beat you in an arm wrestle.

**getlucky** : fujisaki i think anyone could beat me in an arm wrestle.

**Id** : yeah but i dont know if i couldve before i started working out.

**getlucky** : you probably couldve in all honesty.

**getlucky** : my sister beats me at arm wrestling.

**getlucky** : and im pretty sure her workout style is holding manga and lifting potato chips to her mouth.

**getlucky** : so 9?

**NorthStar** : That should be it.

**getlucky** : okay sounds good!

**getlucky** : i'll be there!

**getlucky** left the chat.

**crazydiamond** : i guess this ends the buffbois meeting!

**crazydiamond** : see yall tomorrow at 9

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Farewell!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** left the chat.

**Gungnir** left the chat.

**crazydiamond** left the chat.

**Id** left the chat.

**donutmaniac** : bye sakura!

**NorthStar** : Bye, Hina.

**NorthStar** left the chat

**donutmaniac** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** entered a chat with getlucky

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : naegi.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : naeggo.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : leggo my eggo

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : eggman

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : scrambled egg

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : big mac

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : macintosh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : deviled egg

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : cmon man im running out of funny nicknames for you.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : neggy

**getlucky** : it is 4

**getlucky** : in the MORNING

**getlucky** : I AM EXCERCISING AT 9

**getlucky** : can it wait please!?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yeah just contact me later when ur done ok

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : its about The Letter.

**getlucky** : alright

**getlucky** : good night jack.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : dont u mean good morning

**getlucky** left the chat

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : welp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh im only really happy with the first part of this chapter but thats oooookay


	4. The schemening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> palmtreepanic: (kuwata)  
> 11ohthreeseven: (what)  
> palmtreepanic: (i think enoshima may have been taken over by my dad)  
> 11ohthreeseven: (oh fuck)
> 
> I finally start following through on some of the stuff in the summary.

**getlucky** entered a chat with **cuttycuttyscissorbitch**

**getlucky** : alright whats up

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : CHRIST u took forever

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : its not nice to keep a lady waiting, nigel.

**getlucky** : wait

**getlucky** : did you not sleep?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : didn't want to risk droopy learning about my plotting

**getlucky** : plotting?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : thats what im coming to u about

**getlucky** : should i be worried

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : nah bro

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : this is for the greater good

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : no wait

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : the GREATEST good

**getlucky** : which is?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : me bitch

**getlucky** : don't call me a bitch if you want my help

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : right fuck

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so heres the deal

**getlucky** : ...well?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : gimmie a sec i knocked over my fuckin tea

**getlucky** : you drink tea?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yeah hold on

**getlucky** : ok

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : aight so

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : heres the deal

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : forreal this time

**getlucky** : the forreal deal?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yes exactly

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : we have a secret admirer

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : we being me and gloomy

**getlucky** : both of you?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yeah it said so in the letter

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but heres the thing

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : gloomy's gonna ruin her chances with whoeverthefuck 

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : cuz she is a sad sack that doesnt believe in love

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and whatshisface is probably too chickenshit to try and approach her forreal.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so heres where we come in

**getlucky** : we being me and you?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : you catch on fast thats good

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : gloomy may want to push this person away before she gets hurt again

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but fuck her

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i want to get in on this

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so i need to play wingman

**getlucky** : okay.

**getlucky** : wait.

**getlucky** : for who?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : uhhhh myself? i take back what i said about u catchin on fast

**getlucky** : yeah but

**getlucky** : fukawa doesn't seem to want to be in the relationship?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : she must want it on some level.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : if she didnt want it at all then i wouldnt give a fuck

**getlucky** : well thats good

**getlucky** : but

**getlucky** : the secret admirer also has to prove that they're not being fascetious with their affections!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ok mr dictionary

**getlucky** : i've been hanging out with kyouko alot

**getlucky** : but back to my point.

**getlucky** : doesn't the admirer need help too?

**getlucky** : if they're as shy as youre claiming them to be that is.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : fuck you may be right

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i guess im wingmanning both gloomy and whomstthefucketh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : double wingman duty babeyyyyyy

**getlucky** : so why am i here?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : first of all

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i wanna figure out who the admirer is

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i know kirigiri knows who they are but thats about it

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but she is cagey as hell

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : if i did investigating itd be too obvious

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so i need you to do it.

**getlucky** : why me?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : cuz im pretty sure ur the only person whos texted togami and not gotten blocked

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and can also stand to talk to yamada and hagakure.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and also depsite ur not as dumb as u act so i can trust u to get actual results.

**getlucky** : oh.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : SECOND

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ill need secondary opinions on my big romantic gestures

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : since my artestry goes unappreciated by most.

**getlucky** : uhhhh yeah.

**getlucky** : so im basically gonna be your investigator/advisor?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : thats the idea

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : u down

**getlucky** : i just need to ask a few more questions.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : shoot

**getlucky** : first

**getlucky** : what do i get out of this?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and here i thought u were an altruist.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : or at least u enjoy the satisfaction of seeing 'hope overcome despair' or whatever u and enoshima argue about.

**getlucky** : dont get me wrong i want to do this for fukawa and the admirer.

**getlucky** : but im not going to be your butt monkey for nothing.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : arent u kirigiris little sidekick for free tho

**getlucky** : i like kyouko.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : words hurt macocoa

**getlucky** : sorry

**getlucky** : but my point stands.

**getlucky** : what are you offering me for this?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ugghhhhhhhhhhh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i can pay u?????

**getlucky** : i don't really want money.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hmmmmmmmmmmmm

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ill

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : fuck

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i really dont have many bargaining chips here neggs.

**getlucky** : hm.

**getlucky** : how about this.

**getlucky** : i'll do it.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : NICE

**getlucky** : but i have a few rules.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : okay?????

**getlucky** : first, you cant pursue togami while were doing this.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what!?

**getlucky** : it would be a SUPER scummy move!

**getlucky** : this person shouldn't feel like a side thing!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i mean

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ur not wrrooooonnng...

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : fuck, man

**getlucky** : next.

**getlucky** : you have to actually take my advice.

**getlucky** : i'm not going to be a yes-man.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : that's pretty easy.

**getlucky** : ok cool.

**getlucky** : last one.

**getlucky** : we have to tell fukawa about this before we go into this scheme.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : Ughhghghhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**getlucky** : she has as much of a say in this as you do, jack.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : fuckin fine.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i accept ur fuckin terms.

**getlucky** : okay cool.

**getlucky** : we'll shake on it at school.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i guess this is why ur on debate team.

**getlucky** : haha thanks.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : who can we rule out.

**getlucky** : well

**getlucky** : you, obviously.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : no duh, dipshit

**getlucky** : lets get to the guys then.

**getlucky** : we can rule out oowada since he only likes guys.

**getlucky** : im fairly certain taka is the same but i want to confirm that with him before we go anywhere.

**getlucky** : hiro likes "older women" so he's told me.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : we can probably rule kuwata out, since hes pretty shallow.

**getlucky** : a little yeah, but i wouldn't rule that out so fast. he mightve done it

**getlucky** : yamada claims to only like 2D women.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : if its him then the plan's canceled.

**getlucky** : oh don't be like that! he's got good qualities!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ughhhhhhhhhh

**getlucky** : well i cant make you like someone...

**getlucky** : i wouldn't rule him out of actually being the one who wrote it, however.

**getlucky** : i don't know where fujisaki stands.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i don't know if he cares?

**getlucky** : we'll put him down as a maybe.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hey

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what about u?

**getlucky** : i figured you'd have already ruled me out since you asked me to help.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : can never be too sure, eggo.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well? do you find me "breathtaking"?

**getlucky** : sorry jack, i don't like you in that way.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : damn

**getlucky** : eh?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : its just that ur probably second best of the guys.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : a solid C+

**getlucky** : gee thanks...

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well then

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what about togami

**getlucky** : i seriously doubt its him.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but it could be!

**getlucky** : i dont think hes even interested in romance at all.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : put him down as a maybe.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : for me.

**getlucky** : i'll put him down as highly unlikely.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : better than nothing babey

**getlucky** : let's move on to girls.

**getlucky** : oogami's taken

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : damn really?

**getlucky** : her boyfriends in the hospital, but hes recovering.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : huh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : coulda sworn i caught her makin goo goo eyes at hina

**getlucky** : speaking of

**getlucky** : hina... doesn't like fukawa.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : she likes me alright tho

**getlucky** : yeah but that love letter's for both of you right?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : sigh yeah

**getlucky** : did you seriously write sigh at me?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : dont fuckin judge me.

**getlucky** : anyway

**getlucky** : celeste is definitely possible.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i thought she only liked vampires.

**getlucky** : you'd think.

**getlucky** : i think she just has a thing for people in suits.

**getlucky** : it could be ikusaba.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : eh. shes alright.

**getlucky** : hey! shes very pretty.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : okay nike keep it in your pants.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what about her sister.

**getlucky** : not interested. at all.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : damn.

**getlucky** : maizono's career keeps her from having a relationship.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : double damn.

**getlucky** : kyouko... i don't know!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : she said it wasnt her but she coulda been lying.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i do know she is the one who delivered the letter and was (maybe) asked to by our mystery admirer.

**getlucky** : i'll put her in the possible candidates.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : is that everyone

**getlucky** : we haven't ruled out any of the third or first years.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ehhh i havent really spoken to any of them enough.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : its definitely not any of them.

**getlucky** : alright then so i've got my list.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : sweet, lay it on me.

**getlucky** : for completely ruled out, we have oowada, taka, hiro, oogami, hina, maizono, and enoshima.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and us.

**getlucky** : that goes without saying

**getlucky** : for unlikely, we have kuwata, yamada, and despite myself, togami.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : thats my baby.

**getlucky** : and for definite possibilities, we have fujisaki, kyouko, celeste, and ikusaba.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well that really narrows it down.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : thanks naegi.

**getlucky** : ah, you used my name!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ur welcome.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : we'll get to work tomorrow.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : anyway imma pass out now.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** left the chat

**getlucky** : you're not actually gonna pass out though, right?

**getlucky** : jack.

**getlucky** : jack?

**getlucky** : what have i gotten myself into?

**getlucky** left the chat

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**11ohthreeseven** entered the chat " **Chris, is that a WEED?** "

**palmtreepanic** : eyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**11ohthreeseven** : anyone in this chat smoke weed

**palmtreepanic** : hell yeah brother

**desBEAR** : u really be sayin that evry single time u enter this chat huh

**11ohthreeseven** : its TRADITION

**desBEAR** : barf

**palmtreepanic** : what brings u 2 my humble abode brother

**11ohthreeseven** : im fuckin boooooooored

**11ohthreeseven** : oowadas with his buffbois

**11ohthreeseven** : maizonos workin

**desBEAR** : what about bitch baby

**palmtreepanic** : whomst

**11ohthreeseven** : the fucketh

**desBEAR** : UGH hope-boy

**11ohthreeseven** : oh

**11ohthreeseven** : i dont fuckin know

**palmtreepanic** : well heres whats goin on with me

**palmtreepanic** : ive got a prediction comin on

**palmtreepanic** : wait

**palmtreepanic** : six

**palmtreepanic** : the luckiest number

**11ohthreeseven** : i thought that was seven

**palmtreepanic** : thats a government conspiracy kuwata

**desBEAR** : theyre trying to cover up the cannibalistic tendencies of seven kuwata

**palmtreepanic** : EXACTLY

**palmtreepanic** : enoshiman u get it

**desBEAR** : i gotchu boo

**11ohthreeseven** : lay those pre(dick)tions on us bro

**palmtreepanic** : hhehehhhhehhh

**palmtreepanic** : ok ok okok

**palmtreepanic** : HERE THEY ARE

**desBEAR** : OwO

**palmtreepanic** : a furry will take over the school.

**palmtreepanic** : naegi will become a magical girl

**palmtreepanic** : tuesdays meal will not be tacos

**palmtreepanic** : oowada turns into butter

**palmtreepanic** : enoshima falls down the stairs and dies

**palmtreepanic** : and fukawa will get a girlfriend before summer break

**palmtreepanic** : well?

**desBEAR** : 1 implies that the principal isnt already a furry

**11ohthreeseven** : the rumor come out! does jin kirigiri is furry?

**desBEAR** : probably lmao

**palmtreepanic** : i think we can rule out 4 happening.

**palmtreepanic** : unless the martians...

**11ohthreeseven** : well is it 33 percent accuracy of the whole bunch

**11ohthreeseven** : or for every prediction

**palmtreepanic** : whole bunch brother

**11ohthreeseven** : is that how statistics work???

**palmtreepanic** : probbably

**desBEAR** : 5 is pretty weird

**11ohthreeseven** : i dont think thatll happen

**11ohthreeseven** : ive never even fuckin seen u trip.

**desBEAR** : i have perfect motherfuckin posture, son

**palmtreepanic** : (kuwata)

**11ohthreeseven** : (what)

**palmtreepanic** : (i think enoshima may have been taken over by my dad)

**11ohthreeseven** : (oh fuck)

**desBEAR** : What are you talkin' about there, sport?

**palmtreepanic** : (i think we need to bail)

**palmtreepanic** : (its getting worse)

**palmtreepanic** : (u bring the markers, ill get the candles and holy water so we can start the exorcism)

**11ohthreeseven** : (aight)

**11ohthreeseven** : yo hagakures dad where are u

**desBEAR** : I seem to be in some lass's dorm room, chum!

**11ohthreeseven** : me and ur son are comin over to

**11ohthreeseven** : uh

**11ohthreeseven** : play catch

**desBEAR** : Ah! That brings me back to my college days back in the U.S.!

**palmtreepanic** : (HURRY)

**11ohthreeseven** : (AIGHT)

**palmtreepanic** left the chat.

**11ohthreeseven** left the chat.

**desBEAR** : thx fr the predictions hiro theyll be very... useful

**desBEAR** : i just have to make sure none of those other predictions happen and the plan will be pretty much set in stone

**desBEAR** : OOoooOOOoo I Can FEEL IT

**desBEAR** : DESPAIR BITCHES!

**desBEAR** deleted four previous messages.

**desBEAR** left the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My formula with some of these chapters is to have plot parts and comedy parts. Last chapter didn't feel like it had enough plot. This one didn't feel like it had enough comedy. Oh well. It's probably fine.
> 
> In other news, the notes were at 69 for a while, which greatly amused my toddler brain.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. gee kids could you lighten up a little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crazydiamond: bro nobody starts good  
> crazydiamond: bad is just the first step to fuckin sweet  
> 11ohthreeseven: -Oowada Mondo, 20XX  
> crazydiamond: hell yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comedy is hard when one of the central characters is sad and emotionally closed off for understandable and depressing reasons

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** entered a chat with Fukawa Touko.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hey

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so i know you have some reluctance about the whole love letter thing

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and this is gonna be my pitch for trying to reciprocate

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : technically its your pitch since we share feelings

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i never got that part about our weirdass psyche

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : am i you?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : are you me?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i dont fuckin know

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : back to my point

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : this could be a good thing

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i know i want this

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and that means you have to want it on some level

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : youre just scared that its a prank

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : or that once they really get to know you

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : theyll hate you like everyone else did.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but i think the thing that scares you most

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : is that someone really does like you in that way

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : like US in that way

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : that

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : it might be realass fuckin

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : love

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and that we might screw it up

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : because youve only ever learned how to push people away

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and ive only ever been good at making the people that hurt us go away forever

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : jesus i sound like you right now

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : guess were not so different after all you and i

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : heh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but anyway

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : beneath all these

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ugh

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : Anxieties

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i really do want to try and go for this

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and to get the help i need to really get this to happen

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i needed to get your approval of this whole fuckin thing

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : naegis willing to back us up

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : you just gotta be the one to give the okay

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : alright

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : please respond after i sneeze

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : jesus how the fuck does that even relate to switching between us

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : we should find a psychologist or something

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so yeah

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what do you think

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** entered the chat " **the cool ones (and leon)!** "

**crazydiamond** : hey

**11ohthreeseven** : whats good

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : im just

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : Draiiiiined

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : kuwata entertain me

**11ohthreeseven** : uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfuck

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : good job

**11ohthreeseven** : I DONT DO GOOD UNDER PRESSURE JACK

**crazydiamond** : what the hell were you doing earlier with hiro

**11ohthreeseven** : oh yeah

**11ohthreeseven** : we did an exorcism on enoshima

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : alright

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what the fuck

**11ohthreeseven** : hiro was real worked up over it

**11ohthreeseven** : im pretty sure enoshima was just fuckin with him

**11ohthreeseven** : but it was pretty fun

**11ohthreeseven** : yo enoshima back me up

**crazydiamond** : u had to excercise her

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : exorcise btich

**crazydiamond** : first off fuck you

**crazydiamond** : second of all Fuuuuuuuuuuck Yoouuuuuuuuu

**11ohthreeseven** : @desBEAR @desBEAR @desBEAR

**desBEAR** entered the chat " **the cool ones (and leon)!** "

**desBEAR** : shut the fuck up sauce cuck

**11ohthreeseven** : wh

**desBEAR** left the chat

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hghghaskhgdsfkjhcnwk

**crazydiamond** : lmao eat shit kuwata

**11ohthreeseven** : is this hell

**11ohthreeseven** : is this just my fuckin life now

**11ohthreeseven** : why did i enter this chat

**crazydiamond** : bcuz u looooooooove usssss

**11ohthreeseven** : aw fuck off

**Id** entered the chat " **the cool ones (and leon)!** "

**crazydiamond** : BROHEIM!

**Id** : bromantic

**crazydiamond** : Brodin

**Id** : Broki

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what the fuck is this

**crazydiamond** : Rock and Broll

**Id** : Brohemian

**11ohthreeseven** : idfk

**crazydiamond** : bromato

**Id** : wasnt that one used already?

**crazydiamond** : I WIN

**Id** : noooooo not again

**Id** : im really bad at this

**crazydiamond** : bro nobody starts good

**crazydiamond** : bad is just the first step to fuckin sweet

**11ohthreeseven** : -Oowada Mondo, 20XX

**crazydiamond** : hell yeah

**Id** : 20XX?

**Id** : do we live in megaman world now

**Id** : because if so alot of my childhood dreams are comin true soon

**crazydiamond** : chiro i love you but i have no idea what a megaman is

**Id** : ah

**Id** : the duality of man

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hey fujisaki

**Id** : hey?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : u can change nicknames right

**Id** : yes i am the chat admin

**Id** : and also the admin of pretty much every chat im in

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : can u change kuwatas to sauce cuck

**11ohthreeseven** : please god no

**Id** : hmmmmm

**11ohthreeseven** : fujisaki i am Fucking Begging You Please Do NOT

**11ohthreeseven** : FUJISAKI

**11ohthreeseven** : PLEASE!!!

**11ohthreeseven** : ILL DO ANYTHING

**Id** : anything?

**11ohthreeseven** : well when i say anything

**Id** has changed **11ohthreeseven** 's nickname to **sauce cuck**

**sauce cuck** : I FUCKING MEAN ANYTHING PLEASE GOD RELEASE FROM THIS HELL ON EARTH

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : IM DYyiiiIIING

**crazydiamond** : holy shit

**Id** has changed **sauce cuck** 's nickname to **11037**

**Id** : you're welcome

**crazydiamond** : yeah why the hell did you fuckin Write the last three letters.

**11037** : i dont fuckin know it looked COOL

**11037** : but in other news

**11037** : a piece of me is forever sullied.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : bitch u were always sullied

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : it was just fully displayed for 5 seconds

**11037** : OW

**11037** : my feelings, jack.

**crazydiamond** : yeah bit too far there

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : wait

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hof

**crazydiamond** : jack?

**Id** : should we be worried.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : Achoo.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** left the chat

**Id** : never mind its fine.

**crazydiamond** : yo leon

**11037** : what

**crazydiamond** : when

**crazydiamond** : r u gonna join

**crazydiamond** : buffbois

**Id** : gasp.

**11037** : bluuuughhhh i dont LIKE excercise

**Id** : arent you a sportboi though

**11037** : yeah but im just naturally fuckin great at baseball

**11037** : doesnt mean i wanna do it forever

**11037** : swhy im gettin into music my dudes

**11037** : so i can be great a somethin i fuckin wanna do

**11037** : i cant help being great at things, guys

**Id** : sometimes leon

**Id** : i fuckin hate you

**crazydiamond** : GASP

**crazydiamond** : CHIRO UR NOT ALLOWED TO SAY SWEARS

**Id** : piss

**crazydiamond** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Fukawa Touko** entered a chat with cuttycuttyscissorbitch

**Fukawa Touko** : I don't.

**Fukawa Touko** : Errrrrrghhhhh.

**Fukawa Touko** : Fine.

**Fukawa Touko** : Do what you want.

**Fukawa Touko** : I won't stop you.

**Fukawa Touko** : But don't wrap me into your plots.

**Fukawa Touko** : That's all.

**Fukawa Touko** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Fukawa Touko** entered a chat with **DetectiveKirigiri**.

**Fukawa Touko** left the chat.

**Fukawa Touko** entered a chat with **DetectiveKirigiri**.

**Fukawa Touko** left the chat.

**Fukawa Touko** entered a chat with **DetectiveKirigiri**.

**Fukawa Touko** : Hey.

**DetectiveKirigiri** entered a chat with **Fukawa Touko**

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Hello.

**Fukawa Touko** : So.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : ?

**Fukawa Touko** : I don't hate you.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I would hope that you don't.

**Fukawa Touko** : No, I'm saying this incorrectly.

**Fukawa Touko** : I

**Fukawa Touko** : Gerrrrrghhhhh

**Fukawa Touko** : I'm not very good at this.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : That's alright.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I'm not very good at this whole friendship thing either.

**Fukawa Touko** : Don't patronize me like that.

**Fukawa Touko** : Wait, no.

**Fukawa Touko** : Augh.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Trust me, our first year, I would've been in your shoes.

**Fukawa Touko** : Hm.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I can't thank Naegi enough for helping me out.

**Fukawa Touko** : Must be nice having your little boyfriend to walk you through social interaction.

**Fukawa Touko** : GOD DAMNIT!

**Fukawa Touko** : I'm trying not to be an asshole, so why am I so bad at this!?

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You can start by apologizing.

**Fukawa Touko** : Right, I am sorry for being a prick.

**Fukawa Touko** : Despite myself,

**Fukawa Touko** : I guess you are technically

**Fukawa Touko** : my

**Fukawa Touko** : friend.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I'm flattered.

**Fukawa Touko** : Oh shut the hell up.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Apologies, that wasn't supposed to be sarcastic. I meant it genuinely.

**Fukawa Touko** : Oh.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I'm still not great at this, despite everything.

**Fukawa Touko** : Well, join the club.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Perhaps it could be a new group chat.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : "Learning how to interact with people without fucking it up"

**Fukawa Touko** : Ha.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Though I must clarify, I am not in a romantic relationship with Naegi.

**Fukawa Touko** : You could've fooled me with how you two were joined at the hip for all of last semester.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You're confusing physical intimacy with romantic intention.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : They're not as tightly linked as most people think.

**Fukawa Touko** : You mean to tell me Naegi just likes hugs.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Yes.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You could ask him for one and he would be happy to give.

**Fukawa Touko** : Maybe some other time.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I believe you have also gotten better at this whole social interaction thing as well.

**Fukawa Touko** : Enlighten me as to how.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I believe at the beginning of last year, you wouldn't have heard me out and likely would have accused Naegi of being a pervert.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Now you listened before you jumped to conclusions and were open to the possibility of human contact.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You've grown.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : We all have.

**Fukawa Touko** : Huh.

**Fukawa Touko** : Maybe we have.

**Fukawa Touko** : I

**Fukawa Touko** : appreciated this.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : You're welcome.

**Fukawa Touko** : How presumptious of you.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Sorry.

**Fukawa Touko** : Wait shit.

**Fukawa Touko** : I was trying to be

**Fukawa Touko** : casual.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Oh.

**Fukawa Touko** : It didn't really translate that well over text.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : At least we're 1-1 on poorly thought out messages then.

**Fukawa Touko** : A bold assumption considering my track record.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : A detective requires a little boldness does she not?

**Fukawa Touko** : Perhaps.

**Fukawa Touko** : I'm going to get to work on my next novel now.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I'd wish you good luck, but I doubt you need it.

**Fukawa Touko** : The sentiment's appreciated.

**Fukawa Touko** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** made a chat.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** changed the name of the chatroom to " **The scheme team** " 

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** invited **getlucky** and **Fukawa Touko** to " **The scheme team** "

**getlucky** : hey!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yo

**getlucky** : did you get fukawas approval?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yep

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : she just doesn't want to be bothered by our plans

**getlucky** : alright then

**getlucky** : we'll make a plan tomorrow?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : sounds good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo Boy. I am not happy with this chapter but we're finally about to actually dig into the Meat of the plot. Gird your loins everybody.
> 
> On a side note, y'know how most chatfics have a small preview of the fic in the summary? I want to do that too, but I'm having trouble picking something. Feel free to leave suggestions!


	6. i've come to make an announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maizono Sayaka: ^u^  
> Id: so this is the face of fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall get an extra long chapter for being good little beans

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** entered the chat " **The scheme team** "

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : it's tomorrow

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yo egg lad

**getlucky** entered the chat " **The scheme team** "

**getlucky** : it is 12:30 at night.

**getlucky** : do you sleep?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : that's not important.

**getlucky** : literally it is.

**getlucky** : i worry about you.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : you worry about everybody.

**getlucky** : maybe you all should start being less worrisome!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : do we be schemin?

**getlucky** : fine sure

**getlucky** : i'm already awake I guess.

**getlucky** : any ideas?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : my first thought was making a response to the love letter.

**getlucky** : that's a good idea.

**getlucky** : our mystery admirer does need to know that you reciprocate their affections.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yeah so.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : how we feelin about just straight up writing it.

**getlucky** : like with a pencil and paper?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yeah

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : the letter itself was typed out

**getlucky** : presumably to keep the writer's privacy secure.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : that's what i was thinkin

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but if i write it out myself

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : they'll know that it was me rather than anyone else.

**getlucky** : ok so you'll be writing a letter.

**getlucky** : you should probably also be the one to post it.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : aw and i thought it would be fun to also have a proxy

**getlucky** : yeah no thanks.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : boo

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : just doing that by itself seems

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : like not enough yknow

**getlucky** : hmm.

**getlucky** : well.

**getlucky** : i do have an idea.

**getlucky** : but you probably won't like it.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : lay it on me i literally dont care

**getlucky** : you could

**getlucky** : and here me out here.

**getlucky** : take a shower.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ugghgghhhhhhhhhhh

**getlucky** : they're so nice!

**getlucky** : and you do not smell great.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : maybe my secret admirer LIKES how i smell.

**getlucky** : jack

**getlucky** : take a shower.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : no

**getlucky** : do you want to take a bath instead?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** no

**getlucky:** why don't you like bathing!?

**getlucky:** haven't you ever just relaxed in a hot bath

**getlucky:** letting the water relaxe the tension in your back

**getlucky:** just taking twenty minutes to relax in solitude...

**getlucky:** dang, now i want a bath.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** how about you take a bath

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** and i write the letter like i said i would

**getlucky** : well i will

**getlucky** : but i still think you should dress yourself up a little!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : fuckin why tho

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i dont need to look great

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : when i already do

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : also you are really set on this whole thing.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : bit weird

**getlucky** : jack.

**getlucky** : i didn't want to be the one to tell you this.

**getlucky** : but

**getlucky** : you smell really bad.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : maybe my stink is their kink

**getlucky** : eugh.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : stink kink babeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**getlucky** : please stop.

**getlucky** : anyway

**getlucky** : what if you just washed your hair?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : mmmmm still not big on it.

**getlucky** : hm.

**getlucky** : maybe you could just let your hair down?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hmm.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yeah that's fine.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but once again

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : why do i gotta change myself again?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i look fine as is.

**getlucky** : well it's a way to show that you want to impress them!

**getlucky** : it'll be a double whammy that'll make their heart flutter for you!

**getlucky** : imagine if togami dressed himself up on top of reciprocating a love letter you sent on the same day!

**getlucky** : you'd be knocked out of the park, right?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hm

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i guess i see your point

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but id still rather not wash anything.

**getlucky** : maybe you could style it differently?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hm

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : sure

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i was getting tired of the braids anyway

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what are u suggestin instead

**getlucky** : uh

**getlucky** : i dont actually know that much about hair stuff

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well shit

**getlucky** : but sayaka does!

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : maizono

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what does she have to do with this

**getlucky** : shes great with fashion stuff!

**getlucky** : we just gotta ask her

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : she aint joinin the scheme team

**getlucky** : i never said she was?

**getlucky** : we're just asking her to do hair stuff for you.

**getlucky** : i'm not planning to unload the whole plan on her.

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : thats what he said

**getlucky** : why

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : haha gotem

**getlucky** : well?

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : mmmmmmmmmmmfine

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i don't LIKE maizono

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but ive got nothing against her

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yet.

**getlucky** : you won't regret this!

**getlucky** : trust me shes great!

**getlucky** : i'll text her in the morning

**getlucky** : i am sleepyyyyyy

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : alright seeya

**getlucky** : good night.

**getlucky** left the chat

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : welp

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i guess this is what im doing tomorrow

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : or today i guess

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** entered a chat with **Fukawa Touko**

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hey dont freak out if naegi drags you to maizonos

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : just read the scheme team groupchat ok

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : youre welcome

**cuttycuttyscissorbitch** left the chat

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**getlucky** entered a chat with **Maizono Sayaka**

**getlucky** : hey sayaka!

**Maizono Sayaka** : Hey Makoto!

**getlucky** : are you busy today?

**Maizono Sayaka** : Less than usual!

**getlucky** : oh yeah youre always busy.

**getlucky** : i guess i meant do you have free time today?

**Maizono Sayaka** : Yes!

**getlucky** : great!

**getlucky** : i need your help.

**Maizono Sayaka** : With what?

**getlucky** : well

**getlucky** : jack needs to get some hair stuff done and you are the best person i know with hair so i was hoping i could ask you for help!

**getlucky** : can you do it?

**Maizono Sayaka** : Whoa, Makoto slow down.

**Maizono Sayaka** : Jack?

**Maizono Sayaka** : As in Fukawa?

**getlucky** : uh, yes?

**getlucky** : oh yeah

**getlucky** : sorry, i forget that your manager checks your texts.

**Maizono Sayaka** : Right.

**Maizono Sayaka** : So I'd like to avoid Fukawa's old hobby if at all possible.

**getlucky** : its totally possible!

**Maizono Sayaka** : Fukawa doesn't really seem the type to want to get her hair done.

**Maizono Sayaka** : Are you sure she asked you for hair help?

**getlucky** : she agreed to it!

**Maizono Sayaka** : Agreed?

**Maizono Sayaka** : Naegi are you hiding something from me?

**getlucky** : well

**getlucky** : y'see...

**Maizono Sayaka** : it's about the letter.

**getlucky** : it's about the le

**getlucky** : hey!

**Maizono Sayaka** : I'm psychic, remember!

**Maizono Sayaka** : Don't worry, I'll help out.

**Maizono Sayaka** : I'm not that cruel, Makoto.

**getlucky** : thank you so much! :)

**getlucky** : i'll buy lunch for you if that pays it back!

**Maizono Sayaka** : Well, if you're offering! :)

**Maizono Sayaka** : See you two at around 11:00?

**getlucky** : it's a deal!

**getlucky** : see you soon!

**getlucky** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**getlucky** entered the chat " **The scheme team** "

**getlucky** : its happening at eleven!

**Fukawa Touko** : Naegi, I don't want to do this.

**getlucky** : oh hey fukawa!

**getlucky** : it'll be okay, don't worry.

**Fukawa Touko** : I'm going to fuck this up, I know it.

**getlucky** : stop worrying about fudging up and relax!

**getlucky** : sayaka's great.

**getlucky** : you'll be fine.

**Fukawa Touko** : Fudging up.

**getlucky** : swearing doesn't like happening in my mouth.

**Fukawa Touko** : Is that what you call it.

**getlucky** : i'm buying lunch if that helps?

**Fukawa Touko** : Hm.

**Fukawa Touko** : If I hate it you're buying dinner too.

**getlucky** : alright.

**getlucky** : i never knew that these plans would take such a toll on my wallet.

**getlucky** has left the chat

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Greetings everyone! I hope everyone's gotten their homework done over the break!

**11037** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**11037** : ill get back 2 u on that

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Kuwata! It isn't good to slack! You need to make sure to get all your work done so that you can eventually become a proud member of society!

**11037** : i can be a member of society latttterrrrrr

**crazydiamond** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**crazydiamond** : hey kyoudai

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Kyoudai! It's a pleasure to see you! Can you help me talk some sense into Kuwata? He is refusing to do his homework and his grades will slip if he doesn't get to it soon!

**11037** : im not refusing to do it

**11037** : just not now

**crazydiamond** : kyoudai ive tried but kuwata does what kuwata does

**donutmaniac** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**donutmaniac** : hey everyone!!!

**donutmaniac** : yeah sorry taka. trying to get kuwata to do homework is like trying to defy gravity.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Then it will require significant propulsion in the opposite direction to which gravity is pulling?

**donutmaniac** : uh

**Gungnir** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**desBEAR** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**desBEAR** : whats up gamers

**11037** : enoshima ive never even touched a nintendo

**desBEAR** : But are we not pals?

**desBEAR** : Are we not gamers?

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : I was in the chess club at one point!

**desBEAR** : its truly a sad day when the closest person to a gamer in chat is taka

**Id** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**Id** : ey

**desBEAR** : Finally.

**desBEAR** : a true gamer

**Id** : the one and only babeyyyyy

**crazydiamond** : bro

**Id** : bro

**crazydiamond** : han brolo.

**getlucky** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**Id** : Brokonomiyaki

**getlucky** : hi everyone!

**crazydiamond** : hey naegi

**crazydiamond** : FUCK

**Id** : I WIN!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Language!

**donutmaniac** : hi naegi

**getlucky** : sorry if i don't talk much i need to focus on biking!

**donutmaniac** : aren't your muscles sore from yesterday?

**getlucky** : They Are.

**donutmaniac** : then why are you biking you big dummy!

**CelestiaL** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**getlucky** : i owe people lunch.

**CelestiaL** : Ha, bottom.

**getlucky** left the chat.

**11037** : wow celeste i cant believe u killed naegi

**desBEAR** : rip in shit

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Language.

**DetectiveKirigiri** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**11037** : ah kirigiri i assume ur here for the funeral

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Ah.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Have you been murdered again?

**11037** : hey we dont talk about that

**crazydiamond** : sauce

**11037** : shut

**CelestiaL** : I dont understand your references, nor do i care to.

**Maizono Sayaka** entered the chat "Hope's Peak Class 78"

**Maizono Sayaka** : Hey everyone! I'm a bit busy so if I don't respond much that's why!

**11037** : i thought u said u werent busy today

**Maizono Sayaka** : Haha.

**Id** : oof

**donutmaniac** : ouch.

**Fukawa Touko** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**Fukawa Touko** : Life is nothing but a miserable hole of degredation and pain.

**Fukawa Touko** : I've hit the zenith of my existence

**Maizono Sayaka** : Oh shoosh. This is your own fault for never using a hairbrush.

**crazydiamond** : what the fuck

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Language, kyoudai!

**crazydiamond** : whoops sorry taka

**crazydiamond** : but anyway what

**Fukawa Touko** : I'm being subjected to advanced torture tactics. Please send help.

**Maizono Sayaka** : I'm washing her hair.

**crazydiamond** : oh

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Really?

**Fukawa Touko** : Do you think I would joke about something this dire.

**desBEAR** : good work maizono. keep at it

**Maizono Sayaka** : ^u^

**Togami Byakuya** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**Togami Byakuya** : I'm here for the student council announcement. Don't bother me with anything else.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Ah yes, speaking of that, is everyone here yet?

**CelestiaL** : Yamada has artist's block right now, so I'm the only one he's really going to talk to.

**CelestiaL** : I'll relay this to him when it's over.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Thank you for your diligence, Celeste!

**CelestiaL** : Please don't

**donutmaniac** : sakura's not here yet!

**donutmaniac** : i'll text her!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Thank you Hina! Anyone else?

**11037** : i didnt see hiro yet

**11037** : @palmtreepanic @palmtreepanic @palmtreepanic

**palmtreepanic** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78**

**palmtreepanic** : yo

**11037** : ey

**NorthStar** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**NorthStar** : Hello everyone.

**donutmaniac** : hi sakura!!!!!

**Id** : hey oogami

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : I believe that should be everyone.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I don't see Naegi among the people in chat.

**Fukawa Touko** : He's getting lunch.

**donutmaniac** : hes gonna get even more sore from overexertion...

**NorthStar** : Where is he going to?

**Fukawa Touko** : The ramen place close to here. Why?

**NorthStar** : I'm there right now. I'll bike him the rest of the way.

**Maizono Sayaka** : Thanks so much, Sakura! Take your time, though! I still have some tangles to work through.

**Fukawa Touko** : Mercy, please.

**Maizono Sayaka** : ^u^

**Id** : so this is the face of fear

**Togami Byakuya** : Ishimaru. The announcement.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Oh, right!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : The spring festival is coming up, everyone! Participation is mandatory for all main course students, so please work together to show off for all the other schools!

**Togami Byakuya** : Got it.

**Togami Byakuya** left the chat.

**crazydiamond** : there goes stickass

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : There was more to the announcement...

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Also, language, Kyoudai.

**DetectiveKirigiri** : @getlucky Can you let him know later?

**getlucky** entered the chat " **Hope's Peak Class 78** "

**getlucky** : you got it!

**DetectiveKirigiri** : He'll thank you later.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : The important part is that we are all going to be split into pairs to run eight stands! We are allowed to choose our partners, however, so please work with someone you can work well with!

**crazydiamond** : kyoudai partner with me

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : It would be a pleasure, Kyoudai!

**desBEAR** : nice

**crazydiamond** : shush

**donutmaniac** : saaaakuraaaaaa

**getlucky** : she cant type right now, but she told me to tell you "Of course."

**donutmaniac** : yayyyy!

**11037** : maizono u wanna work with me

**Maizono Sayaka** : Yeah sure.

**11037** : wow feeling the love

**Maizono Sayaka** : Shut up Kuwata.

**Id** : BODIED

**desBEAR** : eat shit

**11037** : ow

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Language, everyone!

**getlucky** : hey ikusaba, do you want to work with me?

**Gungnir** : Yes.

**getlucky** : great! :)

**desBEAR** : my own sister leaving me... so this is despair huh

**palmtreepanic** : i can partner with u

**desBEAR** : at least someone cares about me

**DetectiveKirigiri** : I'll wrangle Togami into helping.

**CelestiaL** : Can someone take yamada off my hands i am fine working with literally anyone else.

**Id** : i can take yamada.

**CelestiaL** : Then it's done. Fukawa you're with me.

**Fukawa Touko** : fjfambfmdfgb

**Fukawa Touko** left the chat.

**CelestiaL** : Uh.

**11037** : same

**Maizono Sayaka** : Sorry! We're in the middle of something.

**getlucky** : i'm here with lunch!

**Maizono Sayaka** : Ooh, perfect timing.

**getlucky** : thanks oogami!

**NorthStar** : It's no trouble.

**Maizono Sayaka** left the chat

**getlucky** left the chat.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : I didn't get to mention that the festival was in two weeks...

**Id** : i can tell them taka.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Thank you, Fujisaki!

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : With that, the announcement is over!

**CelestiaL** : great.

**CelestiaL** left the chat.

**palmtreepanic** : WAIT

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : ...Yes?

**palmtreepanic** : what are we gonna have for lunch tuesday

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Is that really so important? I'd rather you focus on your studies.

**palmtreepanic** : just trust me on this one ok

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : ...It was going to be Italian, but it was changed to tacos after numerous requests to the student council.

**palmtreepanic** : oh man.

**palmtreepanic** : i gotta redraw my charts later guys

**palmtreepanic** left the chat.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : What in blazes was that about?

**desBEAR** : no idea

**11037** : oh that was a one of hiros prophecies or somethin

**crazydiamond** : you believe those?

**11037** : 33 percent accuracy is enough to make me pay attention.

**Id** : oh yeah? what were the prophecies

**11037** : uhhhhhhhh

**11037** : furry one.

**11037** : i get a record deal with maizono

**11037** : something about girls

**11037** : no tacos tuesday

**11037** : uhhhhhhhh butter?

**11037** : and uh...

**11037** : im sure the last one wasnt important

**Id** : thats

**Id** : better than i was expecting

**11037** : i guess hiro was banking on no taco tuesday.

**desBEAR** : this is boring byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**desBEAR** left the chat.

**Gungnir** : Bye.

**Gungnir** left the chat.

**donutmaniac** : sakura do you want to get started?

**NorthStar** : It would be a pleasure.

**donutmaniac** left the chat.

**NorthStar** left the chat.

**Id** : and then there were four.

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : I'd say that was a successful announcement!

**crazydiamond** : yeah you did great kyoudai

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Thank you, Kyoudai!

**11037** : welp imma bounce

**11037** : gonna go see maizono

**Id** : are you sure about that? she seemed busy with fukawa

**11037** : pff

**11037** : dont worry about it

**11037** left the chat.

**Id** : three

**crazydiamond** : kyoudai wanna get started

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** : Of course! Farewell Fujisaki!

**Id** : seeya

**Ishimaru Kiyotaka** left the chat.

**crazydiamond** : shine on, bro.

**Id** : you too bro.

**crazydiamond** left the chat.

**Id** : And then there was one.

**Id** : Now I control the chat!

**Id** : No longer baby! I have power! >:D

**DetectiveKirigiri** : Boo

**Id** : WAGH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leon's slowly becoming one of my favorites to write in this fanfic. hes just a stupid teenager its great.  
> still taking suggestions on excerpts to put in the summary of the fic


	7. super fighting robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11037: anyone in this chat smoke weed  
> desBEAR: someday u will die kuwata

**11037** entered the chat " **Chris, is that a WEED?** "

 **11037** : anyone in this chat smoke weed

 **desBEAR** : someday u will die kuwata

 **11037** : nah bro

 **11037** : immena live 4ever

 **desBEAR** : im screenshotting this and ill be putting the photo on ur tombstone

 **palmtreepanic** : hey whats up

 **11037** : maizonos redyeing my hair

 **11037** : i needed some1 2 chat with

 **palmtreepanic** : well im pretty freeeeee bro

 **desBEAR** : yeah dont care

 **desBEAR** left the chat.

 **11037** : is there anyone else in this chat

 **palmtreepanic** : nah

 **palmtreepanic** : we keep it pretty niche so that ishimaru keeps off our back

 **11037** : oh yea

 **11037** : still feels weird

 **palmtreepanic** : wait

 **palmtreepanic** : maizono?

 **palmtreepanic** : wasnt she busy with

 **palmtreepanic** : something

 **11037** : oh yeah

 **11037** : naegi and fukawa r here 2

 **palmtreepanic** : woa

 **palmtreepanic** : wait

 **palmtreepanic** : y arent u talkin with them

 **11037** : naegis passed out on maizonos couch

 **11037** : and im pretty sure fukawa hates my guts

 **palmtreepanic** : can i ask a question

 **11037** : shoot

 **palmtreepanic** : wait i forgot what i was gonna ask

 **11037** : gdi hiro

 **palmtreepanic** : i have a bad attention span sorry

 **11037** : dude same

 **palmtreepanic** : there was a letter thing...

 **11037** : oh fukawas letter thing

 **palmtreepanic** : OH YEA

 **palmtreepanic** : did u rite that

 **11037** : no

 **palmtreepanic** : rrrrrreaaalllly

 **11037** : rly dude

 **palmtreepanic** : REALLY REALLY

 **11037** : bro i dont know what answer u want me to give

 **11037** : actually

 **11037** : i was IN the groupchat that got the early warning bout it

 **palmtreepanic** : HAHA I KNEW IT

 **11037** : u didnt knew shit

 **11037** : sides

 **11037** : kirigiris the 1 who delivered it

 **11037** : and not gonna lie

 **11037** : she scares me a little

 **palmtreepanic** : oh

 **palmtreepanic** : did she do it

 **11037** : fuck if i know

 **11037** : she said she didnt

 **palmtreepanic** : i dont trust cops

 **palmtreepanic** : or the government

 **11037** : is she a cop?

 **palmtreepanic** : shes a detective thats close enough

 **11037** : i guess

 **11037** : idk man i dont wanna think 2 hard about this whole thing

 **11037** : it seems like a clusterfuck thatll only get more stupid

 **11037** : i just wanna pass my classes

 **11037** : dont got time for this bullshit

 **palmtreepanic** : i guess u rite

 **palmtreepanic** : ill mark u off my chart then

 **11037** : u made a chart 4 this

 **palmtreepanic** : i like charts

 **palmtreepanic** : they help me organize my thoughts

 **11037** : alright

 **11037** : oh fuck

 **palmtreepanic** : what

 **11037** : fukawa sneezd

 **palmtreepanic** : oh

 **11037** : heyyyyy yhiro

 **palmtreepanic** : uh

 **11037** : its jack i stole kuwatas phone

 **palmtreepanic** : oh

 **11037** : whats good

 **palmtreepanic** : oh yknow

 **palmtreepanic** : workin out the prophecies

 **11037** : yo

 **11037** : my hair looks fuckin awesome

 **palmtreepanic** : neat

 **11037** : cool immena bounce

 **palmtreepanic** : ok bye

 **palmtreepanic** : wait

 **palmtreepanic** : r u gonna give kuwata his phone back

 **11037** : ;)

 **palmtreepanic** : oh

 **11037** exited the chat

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** entered the chat " **The scheme team** "

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yo im TURNING HEADS today

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : guess that hair stuff really did do something.

 **getlucky** : what did i tell you?

 **getlucky** : i bet your crush is swooning right now!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : they better be

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : also thanks for buying me dinner yesterday

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : dont really know why u did

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but i appreciate it

 **getlucky** : dont worry about it

 **getlucky** : btw did you write the note?

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yyup

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : took a while though

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : feelings is hard, noogie

 **getlucky** : it's not so bad!

 **getlucky** : i've managed feelings pretty well.

 **getlucky** : and i think you can too!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : you always know just what to say

 **getlucky** : aww. :)

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : to make me barf

 **getlucky** : aw. :(

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : anyway

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i heard something about projects

 **getlucky** : oh yeah!

 **getlucky** : we've been split into pairs.

 **getlucky** : you're with celeste.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : why

 **getlucky** : everyone else was taken.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i call bullshit what

 **getlucky** : check the groupchat!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hm

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i guess so

 **getlucky** : but this is good!

 **getlucky** : both of the people we're paired with are possible suspects for who wrote the letter!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : oh fuck

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : wait who r u with

 **getlucky** : ikusaba.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ah

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : to be honest

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i really dont think she wrote it

 **getlucky** : we can't rule her out yet, though!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : hold up

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : didnt i specifically assign u to do the detective work so that i didnt have to

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what the fuck is up with this then

 **getlucky** : it just kinda happened, i didn't have anything to do with it.

 **getlucky** : besides, ill still investigate in my own time

 **getlucky** : don't worry!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : eh

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : anyway i posted it.

 **getlucky** : where is it?

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : in our homeroom

 **getlucky** : sounds good!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well make more schemes after school

 **getlucky** : i have debate team today

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ugh fine after?

 **getlucky** : could it be tomorrow please? my brain works better when i'm not tuckered out

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : ok

 **getlucky** : and don't wake me up in the middle of night just because it's technically tomorrow then!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : booo ur no fun.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** left the chat.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **crazydiamond** entered the chat " **the cool kids (and leon)!** "

 **crazydiamond** : YALL

 **crazydiamond** : what the fuck is up

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : if looks could kill i would be a serial killer.

 **Id** : you were a serial killer.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : and how do you think i was so good at it.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i bring out the best in myself.

 **crazydiamond** : -Genocide Jack, 20XX

 **Id** : ...Megaman...

 **crazydiamond** : if you like this megaguy so much why dont u take his name.

 **Id** changed **Id** 's name to **Megaman**

 **Megaman** : :3

 **crazydiamond** : oh

 **Megaman** : the whole "ego, superego, id" joke didnt get as much attention as i'd hoped for.

 **Megaman** : also alter ego isn't in enough chats for the joke to make sense.

 **crazydiamond** : its been a hot minute since ive seen ae how are they

 **Megaman** : yo alter ego

 **SuperEgo** entered the chat " **the cool kids (and leon)!** "

 **SuperEgo** : Greetings, master!

 **Megaman** : first off, please don't call me that.

 **Megaman** : you've been spending too much time with yamada for me to be comfortable with that.

 **SuperEgo** : How would you have me refer to you?

 **Megaman** : uh

 **crazydiamond** : grand poobah

 **Megaman** : Grand Poobah.

 **SuperEgo** : Very well, Grand Poobah.

 **Megaman** : wait thats terrible

 **crazydiamond** : its okay grand poobah, don't worry about it.

 **Megaman** : oh well, at least its funny.

 **Megaman** : second, can i change ur nickname so we can still be twinning.

 **SuperEgo** : Of course!

 **Megaman** : cool

 **Megaman** changed **SuperEgo** 's name to **MegamanX**

 **crazydiamond** : this is too many megamen

 **donutmaniac** entered the chat " **the cool kids (and leon)!** "

 **donutmaniac** : hey everyone!

 **Megaman** : Hello, Asahina!

 **MegamanX** : Hello, Asahina!

 **donutmaniac** : uhhhhhhhh what

 **crazydiamond** : yo

 **donutmaniac** : oowada please never change ur nickname

 **crazydiamond** : id never betray my boy josuke

 **Megaman** : is that a man's promise

 **crazydiamond** : hell yeah

 **crazydiamond** : i'm never changin my nickname dude

 **Megaman** : cool

 **donutmaniac** : are you fujisaki?

 **Megaman** : mmmmaybe...

 **crazydiamond** : thats him

 **Megaman** : mondo!

 **Megaman** : my disguise...

 **crazydiamond** : next time, chiro.

 **Megaman** : bro...

 **crazydiamond** : bro...

 **donutmaniac** : as tender as this is

 **donutmaniac** : u guys wanna talk about the Return Letter!!

 **Megaman** : oh yeah

 **donutmaniac** : did you read it!?

 **Megaman** : yeah

 **crazydiamond** : no

 **donutmaniac** : oh, why not?

 **crazydiamond** : it wasnt any of my fuckin business thats why

 **donutmaniac** : jeez

 **Megaman** : you may want to bounce out of the chat then.

 **crazydiamond** : will do bro

 **crazydiamond** : ttyl

 **Megaman** : of course

 **crazydiamond** left the chat

 **Megaman** : anyway

 **donutmaniac** : holy moly!

 **Megaman** : yeah

 **donutmaniac** : it was

 **donutmaniac** : kinda sweet?

 **donutmaniac** : as sweet as jack can be i guess

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : u talkin shit on me

 **Megaman** : WAH

 **donutmaniac** : oh hey jack

 **Megaman** : i guess u were here the whole time huh

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : yeah bitch

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i just popped out for a bit

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : so u read my letter eh

 **donutmaniac** : you have my support!

 **Megaman** : me too

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : well

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : thanks i guess

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : but this aint the end

 **Megaman** : id hope not.

 **Megaman** : the note was good btw

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : id hope so i put blood and sweat into that thing

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : literally

 **Megaman** : ew

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : jk get pranked

 **Megaman** : tryna save face huh

 **donutmaniac** : y-you didnt actually though right???

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : trade secret

 **donutmaniac** : eughh

 **donutmaniac** : i always forget how gross you are

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : humour is an art and i am an artist.

 **Megaman** : i didn't need this today.

 **donutmaniac** : i feel like i need a shower

 **donutmaniac** : oo or a swim

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : i am unappreciated in my time.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : remember me as u knew me.

 **Megaman** : ok i wont

 **Megaman** : im gonna go.

 **Megaman** : keep in touch

 **donutmaniac** : will do fujisaki!

 **Megaman** left the chat.

 **donutmaniac** : oh yeah jack!

 **donutmaniac** : i love what maizono did with your hair.

 **donutmaniac** : the single braid looks great.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : thanks

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : it does look great doesn't it

 **donutmaniac** : im gonna go take a swim, see you tomorrow!

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : uh yeah

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : seeya

 **donutmaniac** left the chat

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : welp

 **DetectiveKirigiri** : Hello.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : jesus christ you fuckin spooked me

 **DetectiveKirigiri** : Apologies, I have a habit of lurking.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : oh yea i saw the school group chat

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : scared fujisaki half to death

 **DetectiveKirigiri** : I did apologize to him as well.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : it was pretty funny.

 **DetectiveKirigiri** : I'm glad. It was a joke after all.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : any reason u wanted to talk with lil ol me

 **DetectiveKirigiri** : Yes.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : oh

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : what

 **DetectiveKirigiri** : I need you to give Kuwata's phone back.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : oh

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : eh sure i wasnt really doing anything with it anyway

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : cept for changing his lock screen to a pic of naegi passed out on maizonos couch

 **DetectiveKirigiri** : Really?

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** : would i lie to u

 **DetectiveKirigiri:** It's my job to learn if you would, Ms. Jack.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** oo ms jack arent u such a gentlewoman, ms detective

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** anyway ill give kuwatts his phone back

 **DetectiveKirigiri:** I should hope so.

 **DetectiveKirigiri:** The alternative is that I tell Ishimaru.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** christ please no

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** i like not being harassed by authority figures at all times of the day

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** anyway ill do that

 **DetectiveKirigiri:** Thank you.

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch:** peace

 **cuttycuttyscissorbitch** left the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay i didn't really know where to go next so i put off doing it. im still not really happy with this chapter, but i'm never happy with the inbetweener chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> i love getting comments so i will read and respond to whatever you have to say!


End file.
